AnimeNfo

[Freddy C (#31563)]

 Are selfish people happier?

[chaosnova (#59989)]

I think selfish people only have a false sense of happiness. Being selfish might keep you somewhat safe but I don't have many friends that are selfish...so I'm thinking selfish people don't have many friends.

[Bardack (#52583)]

Selfish... or not...
In my opinion each person can be happy or can be sad even if they are selfish or not. Hhhmm, it depends on the level of selfishness.
However I see some people who cares only about their career and that don't have REAL respect for others who seem to enjoy themselves.
So maybe they are happy, maybe they fake.
But in my opinion yours is too a generic question.

However what makes me happiest (but that causes me the most troubles) is my wife and I'm not selfish at all with her. I try to make her happy even when sometimes it troubles me and she does the same. If you are REALLY selfish you can't do that.
But I guess you can be happy changing woman every two weeks without any consideration for their feelings.
And maybe being selfish save you some (emotional) pain.

[NecoCoNeco (#50801)]

I don't think selfish people are happier
The selfish people I've known have spent so much time telling themselves they don't care about other people or how other people feel that they've done many things that inconvience the lives of others turning themselves into an outcast and disliked by those they've disregarded leaving selfishness not as a choice but a nessesity. Which in turn gives them a false sense of happiness telling themselves they don't care....but in the end I think it just makes them bitter

I think it's okay to be a little selfish but not so much so that you are the only thing you care about.......

[Last Exile (#35342)]

Selfish people are happy until their partenr dumps thems permanently or their friends stop conversing with them.

What you give is what yhou get in return.

[ahp (#43308)]

Yes - what you give is what you get in return.

The selfish people have false happiness. They'll end up getting more bitter and bitter and then just quit it or be a social outcast forever

But at some points, being selfish most certainly is "fun".. Well, not exactly fun, but better. It really depends with whom you're being selfish with - if the person is your wife (for instance), then no way.. But, for instance, the person's some total lamer, then it's totally fine with me.

[charn (#40191)]

Most selfish people will not have any friends.. coz no one can be fooled more than once..

[Bardack (#52583)]

[Nifty (#29681)]

I don't think many people who aren't selfish would proclaim those that are selfish to be happier. If they did, it would mean that all (or at least many) instances of self-sacrifice in their lives have come to no avail.

I think of things a bit differently though.

If happiness could be measured on a scale, I think that the selfish people would definetly have amassed a greater quantity throughout their lives. I like to believe that people can earn what they work for, and that selfish people obviously work towards their own happiness.

I also think that those who are selfless are working to something that, while it won't bring them much happiness during their lifetime, will create a lasting joy to be felt in society and their own afterlife.

[Freddy C (#31563)]

so most people here think that selfish people are not very happy, or at least it's a maks which they hide behind.

but i will ask, are people only happy if they share/not hog onto things? lots of people partially do good stuff for something in return, a thanks or soemthing like that, few do good stuff without wanting at least something back, no matter how small it is.

i suppose one the the things that keeps people from being selfish and do good is gulit, or avoiding guilt. i won't feel good if i was selfish all the time.

but let me just point out here that not being selfish doesn't mean being good or doing good, christmas cards are a good way of showing this:

someone gives me a card, i don't really know him or like him, i, not wanting to feel guilty decides to give him one back in return, he thinks i'm a really nice person (maybe being the only one that returned him a card). but the card i gave him was more for my own sake (of not feeling gulity) then because i wanted to give him one.

[jecht (#36529)]

[jazzjack (#45794)]

maybe they have it easier because they dont have to think about others but i dont think they are happier... sharing things with certain ppl makes me feel happy.. maybe we are equal happy..

[Ken Hayashi (#52012)]

Happiness is a state of mind. Truely, I don't know what goes on in the minds of selfish people. They may be happy, they may be not. But certainly, as some of you have said, selfish people will soon find themselves without any true friends. There will still be people who seem to be hanging out with them, those who (for the time being) need them to be around because they (the selfish people) are still of some value to them (the "friends").

Will they be happy with their lives (a life without many true friends)? I don't know. Probably not. I know I won't be happy with a life like that.

Some people are happy to give and share. Some people are happy to do otherwise. It's all in their upbringing and personality. They are perfectly happy doing what they do. But everybody needs friends (I think).

Most people don't like selfish people. And their reaction to a selfish person is certainly going to rub off and make that selfish person feel miserable. So I think, in most cases, a selfish person is going to be a very lonely person, so he/she is probably not going to be a happy person.

[Matt (#49432)]

I agree with that. If you share, people will think better of you then if you just keep to yourself. I let my friends borrow and use stuff of mine all the time, and I feel good about myself and have no issues.

[Sumomo (#45447)]

Re: Are selfish people happier?

[simon (#39337)]

i'm selfish...
and i'm ascetic...

when i eat breakfast and someone takes a jam or butter before me i'm so angry that it's impossible to describe...


but when i can help others i feel happy...
i like it even more if the person that i helped didn't appreciate it or didn't know it was me...

i'm a really strange person


anyway...
selfish people are not happeir...
they just can't stop being selfish and that makes them emmm...sad
because it's damn hard to just change your behaviour when all people around think you're selfish and press you to change..
in result people go deeper and deeper into selfishness...
and that doesn't make them happy...

[darthmoose (#59768)]

I feel that selfish people are happier because they are the ones who have what it takes!

[rossoline (#40078)]

I agree with Bardack almost completely on this one. First of all,

[Rosepetals (#42525)]

Selfishness only masks truly what is out in the world; you can hoard the world to yourself, but ultimately the world can turn it's back on you. You don't truly know happiness unless you share it with others. By sharing what you have, you not only feel good about yourself but also make other people's days a little brighter.

Kind of cliche, but that's just my opinion though.

[TinyTony (#41027)]

hmmmm...

I can say that I care too much about others and that makes me depressed many times. I love many people around me and I gladly sacrifice my own efforts for those friends. I think its a big minus in me. I hate totally selfish people and thats why I hated NGE so much. The main character is a total idiot in my opinion. I usually get pissed of by selfish people. I also love to be alone most of the time. I dont usually care about myself very much and that results in some really uncomfortable situations sometimes.

[Bardack (#52583)]

I think that selfish people can be as happy as other people.
If you are REALLY selfish you don't care about a lot of things and so you can't be depressed by that. And if you don't have real friends you might as well don't care that much about it since you can fulfill your life in other ways (sex, hobbies, career, money, food,...)
The "friends+love=happiness" is not always true. Love can cause a lot of pain and so friends.
A song says "Love makes you fly but it can break your wings".

I've always had a relative prospective of life and I've seen many different behaviours and I try to judge them not using my feelings, emotions and point of view of the world. So if I need some kind of emotions and some real friends besides me, it doesn't mean other people feel the same.
People ARE different.

I had a financial director who was the most selfish person I've seen in my life so far and he seemed very happy and successful, with a beautiful wife (often complaining about him though), two cute kids, a big house, a nice boat, a nice car,...

So I think that some selfish people can be happier than me in the end. And I am generally a happy person.

[charn (#40191)]

[Nifty (#29681)]

How is it unfair? They had a goal and they worked for it, its only just that they succeed. If your goal isn't as self-centered, if its directed towards helping friends, family or the community, don't be upset when you don't get those tangible returns for your efforts.

[Doff (#45012)]

They may be happy for a little while, but when they are really thinking of what they are doing i think that they'r not so happy anymore...
Like someone said, it's a false sense of happyness...

so no, i dont think they are happy...

[Bardack (#52583)]

[slippy (#46880)]

Ecologically sound selfishness essentially is the key to Western happiness. And all Western (natch: American) notions of happiness revolves around romantic notions of the existential individual.

Selfishness without ecological sensitivity (awareness of relationships, situation, etc.) creates many neurotic and potentially psychotic conditions. And it is immature.

Ecological sensitivity without a sense of self creates a negative feedback loop, creating distortions of the self -- martrdom, anxiety, depression, etc.

Both situations frequently arise in romantic relationships, friendships, and parental relations. I always tell my friends that the most important thing is to realize that all relationships, all good, quality relationships are based on some form of self-interest and mutual understanding of that self-interest.

If one person is wantonly selfish in that relationship, you have no altruistic obligation to ignore your own selfishness and "stay around." And in fact, by acting out, negating who you are, you are only contributing to that person's ecological blindness and encouraging their wanton depravity.

In Western society, without a balance of both, you simply cannot sustain a happy life. All, and I mean ALL, Romantic conceptions -- be it love, adventure, or career -- are based on Selfishness.

As Erich Fromm points out, it isn't our selfishness that carries on our suffering as a society, but our inability to see our Romantic Mythology for what it is and that relationship with our capitalistic sense of communication and exchange. The Romantic dialectic (which underlies also our friendship and famililal codes ) *IS* give and take.

Without recognizing that, without recognizing our inherent selfishness, you cannot be happy.

[Caddberry (#27690)]

Honestly, I think everyone is selfish sometime in their life.. Or when it comes to certain things... I'm actually not selfish at all.. But again there maybe somethings that I am selfish about.. uh.. Maybe.. LoL

Anyway.. Are they happy.. ? Sure they are. Until their world falls apart they are happy.. Some people's worlds never fall apart.. Some do..

[Bardack (#52583)]

[blue_scarlet (#41202)]

I think all of us are selfish. I am selfish... and I think no one can ULTIMATELY say that she or he has NEVER been selfish. I don't think it's entirely wrong to be selfish...it is self-love...vanity, conceit... and everyone loves himself or herself. But it is when we consciously trample on other people...it's wrong. (in my opinion)

selfishness - that supreme self-love or
self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes
to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness,
without regarding those of others

Pursuit of self interest... everyone does that, and many are happy. So, I guess selfish people can be happy but I also think they would suffer from it somehow...and the greater harm you've done the greater you will suffer.

The golden rule: Do not do unto others what you don't want others do unto you

PS: There's another version of Confucius' golden rule... Do unto others what you want others do unto you... Jesus said it. Just choose what version you want.

[Xiayi_chan (#41938)]

...

I think the question is if people that are selfish most of the time happy. People that are generally selfish...

Sure, in their life they are selfish and they continue on being selfish and continue on being happy. If they aren't happy, then they probably change. I believe that all people recieve an equal amount of happiness in their lives... but i don't want to get into that...(all i'm saying is everyone is happy being who they are, and if they aren't happy being who they are they will change somehting in their lives until they are.)

[Kainy (#22295)]

More cheerful, maybe...

Real, meaningful, deep happiness is generally the result of doing something greater than oneself... something that purely egocentric people do not understand or ever do.

So maybe they're happier... until they rot in hell for ignoring the suffering of others.

[Caddberry (#27690)]

[slippy (#46880)]

Selfishness, in itself, is not bad.

Any attachment you have toward your life is selfishness. The problem with recognizing other people as "unselfish" (as opposed to giving, which is something else entirely) is that you deny their self-interest in their interaction with you. In doing that, you project yourself onto them and don't recognize them as separate individuals from yourself. We do this as children with our parents; we often do this in romantic relationships as well.

Generosity is a complex trait that nominates more specific motives and behaviours. A generous person may seem self-sacrificing but bossy and highly critical. A generous person may be an emotionally empathic friend, but also be moody or overtly sensitive. A generous person may be sensitive and attentive, but at time seem manipulative or dishonest. That's not to say generosity is a false or deceptive trait, but that there's two sides (or three) to all human behaviour. They all spring from the same thing in a person.

Real issue is between egotism and egoism. The former reflects a distortion of self, making a person unable to correctly evaluate his ecology (social environment) and thus act our in a uncaring, thoughtless manner. It's not just people think of themselves, they think of themselves in a way nobody else does. After all, "selfish" people rarely think they are selfish. Hating yourself, doing acts of kindness while ignoring your own needs, and so on are all selfish, egotistical traits. We all have that, and we all do that because we're human. (Well, except Simon. )

Egoism, though, is different. Instead of merely being self-absorbed or self-conscious, you are self-aware. You acknowledge your selfishness in relation to your world, you recognize the interests of others, and you are able to apply ecologically sound behaviour for the sake of your self-interest.

Confucious's golden rule, as with all Taoist and Confucian thinking, reflects the ethics of egoism. What we Westerners consider "selfish", they consider foolish. It's hard being a fool and happy in this world.

[Divayth (#53356)]

I believe that everyone is inherintly selfish, but I think that people are generally refering to people that are outwardly selfish and very much so?
Well I think that people like that would a lot of the time end up unhappy, since people generally treat outwardly selfish people very harshly which would cause a lot of these people to be very unhappy.

When people do something kind, such as giving to the poor, they usually receive a certain self satisfaction. People would usually look at this act as being unselfish, but the person giving is still getting something: self satisfaction, and often times they do something generous knowing that they will get this self satisfaction. Or maybe people could do kind things or what not to merely avoid feeling guilty. The way I think of it is that such an act would be therefore selfish since they are being generous or kind so that they can receive such self satisfaction. Also, people do such generous things to make themselves look good, which is obviously selfish.

I really don't know if all people do things like this or not, but to me it seems like people doing things that are truly selfless is either a myth or very rare. I think this way because it seems so strange to me and is quite different from the way I do things. As Slippy mentioned, selfishness is not bad, as everyone needs to look out for themselves. Everyone should be selfish, everyone needs to be selfish. To me it seems that selfishness(things in the above paragraph included) is the only thing that can bring happiness, and without it, it would be impossible to be happy.

[shireen (#57486)]

well i think that its practically impossible for anyone to be COMPLETLY unselfish. everyone is selfish at some time or the other. i dont think its really that bad to be a little selfish (in certain cases) but being selfish all the time thats bad.

and like so many people said, we do some things to keep guilt away or for a feeling of self achievement/satisfaction or something like that, but everybody does that sometime or the other, so i guess its just human nature.

as for over-selfish people being happy, i don't think so. most people would probably hate them, they'd lock themselves away form the world and die lonely and sad.